Comedy Exams
History Exam
Want to take a break and have some fun? Number a paper from 1 to 20.
Write the letter that fits your guess/answer of each of the following questions. Then grade your scores and see what the meaning of your score is.
---- History Exam (Don't peek at the answers 'til you try it)
1) In the 1940s, where were automobile headlight dimmer switches located?
a) On the floor shift knob
b) On the floor board, to the left of the clutch
c) Next to the horn
2) The bottle top of a Royal Crown Cola bottle had holes in it. For what was it used?
a) Capture lightning bugs
b) To sprinkle clothes before ironing
c) Large salt ! shaker
3) Why was having milk delivered a problem in northern winters?
a) Cows got cold and wouldn't produce milk
b) Ice on highways forced delivery by dog sled
c) Milkmen left deliveries outside of front doors and milk would
freeze, expanding and pushing up the cardboard bottle top.
4) What was the popular chewing gum named for a game of chance?
a) Blackjack
b) Gin
c) Craps!
5) What method did women use to look as if they were wearing stockings when none were available due to rationing during W.W.II?
a) Suntan
b) Leg painting
c) Wearing slacks
6) What postwar car turned automotive design on its ear when you couldn't tell whether it was coming or going?
a) Studebaker
b) Nash Metro
c) Tucker
7) Which was a popular candy when you were a kid?
a) Strips of dried peanut butter
b) Chocolate licorice bars
c) Wax coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water inside
8) How was Butch wax used?
a) To stiffen a flat-top haircut so it stood up
b) To make floors shiny and prevent scuffing
c) On the wheels of roller skates to prevent rust
9) Before inline skates, how did you keep your roller skates attached to your shoes?
a) With clamps, tightened by a skate key
b) Woven straps that crossed the foot
c) Long pieces of twine
10) As a kid, what was considered the best way to reach a decision?
a) Consider all the facts
b) Ask Mom
c) Eeny-meeny-miney-mo
11) What was the most dreaded disease in the 1940's?
a) Smallpox
b) AIDS
c) Polio
12) "I'll be down to get you in a ________, Honey"
a) SUV
b) Taxi
c) Streetcar
13) What was the name of Caroline Kennedy's pet pony?
a) Old Blue
b) Paint
c) Macaroni
14) What was a Duck-and-Cover Drill?
a) Part of the game of hide and seek
b) What you did when your Mom called you in to do chores
c) Hiding under your desk, and covering your head with your arms an
A-bomb drill.
15) What was the name of the Indian Princess on the Howdy Doody show?
a) Princess Summerfallwinterspring
b) Princess Sacajewea
c) Princess Moonshadow
16) What did all the really savvy students do when mimeographed tests were handed out in school?
a) Immediately sniffed the purple ink, as this was believed to get you high.
b) Made paper airplanes to see who could sail theirs out the window
c) Wrote another pupil's name on the top, to avoid your failure
17) Why did your Mom shop in stores that gave Green Stamps with purchases?
a) To keep you out of mischief by licking the backs, which tasted like bubble gum.
b) They could be put in special books and redeemed for various household items.
c) They were given to the kids to be used as stick-on tattoos.
18) Praise the Lord, and pass the _________?
a) Meatballs
b) Dames
c) Ammunition
19) What was the name of the singing group that made the song "Cabdriver" a hit?
a) The Ink Spots
b) The Supremes
c) The Esquires
20) Who left his heart in San Francisco?
a) Tony Bennett
b) Xavier Cugat
c) George Gershwin
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ANSWERS
1) (b) On the floor, to the left of the clutch. Hand controls, popular in Europe, took till the late '60s to catch on.
2) (b) To sprinkle clothes before ironing. Who had a steam iron?
3) (c) Cold weather caused the milk to freeze and expand, popping the bottle top.
4) (a) Blackjack Gum.
5) (b) Special makeup was applied, followed by drawing a seam down the back of the leg with an eyebrow pencil.
6) (a) 1946 Studebaker.
7) (c) Wax coke bottles containing super-sweet colored water.
8) (a) Wax for your flat top (butch) haircut.
9) (a) With clamps, tightened by a skate key, which you wore on a shoestring around your neck.
10) (C) Eeny-meeny-miney-mo.
11) (C) Polio. In beginning of August, swimming pools were closed, movies and other public gathering places were closed to try to prevent spread of the disease. 12) (B) Taxi. Better be ready by half-past eight!
13) (C) Macaroni.
14) (C) Hiding under your desk, and covering your head with your arms
in an A- bomb drill.
15) (a) Princess Summerfallwinterspring. She was another puppet.
16) (a) Immediately sniffed the purple ink to get a high.
17) (b) Put in a special stamp book, they could be traded for
household items at the Green Stamp store.
18) (c) Ammunition, and we'll all be free.
19) (a) The all male, all black group: The Inkspots.
20) (a) Tony Bennett, and he sounds just as good today.
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SCORING
17- 20 correct: You are not only older than dirt, but obviously gifted with mind bloat. Now if you could only find your glasses. Definitely a GEEZER!
12 -16 correct: Not quite! dirt yet, but your mind is definitely muddy.
0 -11 correct: You are a sad excuse for a geezer or you are younger than springtime!
Mind Teasers:
There are 29 questions about things we see every day, or have known about all our lives. How many can you get right? These little simple questions are harder than you think--it just shows you how little we pay attention to the common place things of life. Put your thinking caps on. Mind teasers of COMMON KNOWLEDGE. No cheating! No looking around! No using anything on or in your desk or computer! (The average is 7) Write down your answers and check answers (on the bottom) AFTER completing all the questions. REMEMBER - NO CHEATING!!! LET'S JUST SEE HOW OBSERVANT YOU REALLY ARE.
1. On a standard traffic light, is the green on the top or bottom?
2. How many states are there? (Don't laugh, some people don't know)
3. In which hand is the Statue of Liberty's torch?
4. What six colors are on the classic Campbell's soup label?
5. What two letters don't appear on the telephone dial? (No cheating!)
6. What two numbers on the telephone dial don't have letters by them?
7. When you walk does your left arm swing w/your right or left leg?
8. How many matches are in a standard pack?
9. On the United States flag is the top stripe red or white?
10. What is the lowest number on the FM dial?
11. Which way does water go down the drain, counter or clockwise?
12. Which way does a "no smoking" sign's slash run?
13. How many channels on a VHF TV dial?
14. Which side of a women's blouse are the buttons on?
15. On a NY license plate, is New York on the top or bottom?
16. Which way do fans rotate?
17. Whose face is on a dime?
18. How many sides does a stop sign have?
19. Do books have even-numbered pages on the right or left side?
20. How many lug nuts are on a standard car wheel?
21. How many sides are there on a standard pencil?
22. Sleepy, Happy, Sneezy, Grumpy, Dopey, Doc. Who's missing?
23. How many hot dog buns are in a standard package?
24. On which playing card is the card maker's trademark?
25. On which side of a Venetian blind is the cord that adjusts the opening between the slats?
26. On the back of a $1 bill, what is in the center?
27. There are 12 buttons on a touch tone phone. What 2 symbols bear no digits?
28. How many curves are there in the standard paper clip?
29. Does a merry-go-round turn counter or clockwise?
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Don't look at answers below until you complete all the questions:
1. Bottom
2. 50 (please tell me you got this one!)
3. Right
4. Blue, red, white, yellow, black, &gold
5. Q, Z
6. 1 &0
7. Right
8. 20
9. Red
10. 88
11. Counter (north of the equator)
12. Towards bottom right
13. 12 (there is no #1)
14. Left
15. Top
16. Clockwise as you look at it
17. Roosevelt
18. 8
19. Left
20. 5
21. 6
22. Bashful
23. 8
24. Ace of spades
25. Left
26. ONE
27. *, #
28. 3
29. Counter
1) How long did the Hundred Years War last?
2) Which country makes Panama hats?
3) From which animal do we get catgut?
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?
7) What was King George VI's first name?
8) What color is a purple finch?
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?
10) How long did the Thirty Years War last?
Answers To The Quiz
1) 116 years, from 1337 to 1453.
2) Ecuador.
3) From sheep and horses.
4) November. The Russian calendar was 13 days behind ours.
5) Squirrel fur.
6) The Latin name was Insularia Canaria - Island of the Dogs.
7) Albert. When he came to the throne in 1936 he respected the wish of Queen Victoria that no future king should ever be called Albert.
8) Distinctively crimson.
9) New Zealand.
10) Thirty years, of course. From 1618 to 1648.
Which Movie Star Are You?
Take a break and see who you are. Which Movie Star Are You? Don't read ahead please.
Ever wonder which movie star you are most like? Well, a team of researchers got together and analyzed the personalities of movie stars.
The gathered information has been incorporated into this quiz. Answer each question with the choice that most describes you at this point in your life, then add up the points that correspond with your answers.
Send this to all of your friends (including the person who sent it to you, with your movie star in the subject line.
1. Which describes your perfect date?
a) Candlelight! t dinner for two
b) Amusement Park
c) Rollerblading in the park
d) Rock Concert
e) Have dinner & see a movie
f) Dinner at home with a loved one
2. What is your favorite type of music?
a) Rock and Roll
b) Alternative
c) Soft Rock
d) Classical
e) Christian
f) Jazz
3. What is your favorite type of movie?
a) Comedy
b) Horror
c) Musical
d) Romance
e) Documentary
f) Mystery
4. Which of the following jobs would you choose if you were given only these choices?
a) Waiter/Waitress
b) Sports Player
c) Teacher
d) Policeman
e) Bartender
f) Business person
5. Which would you rather do if you had an hour to waste?
a) Work out
b) Make out
c) Watch TV
d) Listen to the radio
e) Sleep
f) Read
6. Of the following colors, which do you like the best?
a) Yellow
b) White
c) Sky blue
d) Teal
e) Gold
f) Red
7. Which one of the following would you like to eat right now?
a) Ice cream
b) Pizza
c) Sushi
d) Pasta
e) Salad
f) Lobster Tail
8. Which is your favorite holiday?
a) Halloween
b) Christmas
c) New Year's
d) Valentine's Day
e) Thanksgiving
f) Fourth of July
9. If you could go to any of the following places, which would it be?
a) Reno
b) Spain
c) Las Vegas
d) Hawaii
e) Hollywood
f) British Columbia
10. Of the following, who would you rather spend time with?
a) Someone who is smart
b) Someone with good looks
c) Someone who is a party animal
d) Someone who! has fun all the time
e) Someone who is very emotional
f) Someone who is fun to be with
NOW, total up your points on each question and find your character below:
1. a-4 b-2 c-5 d-1 e-3 f-6
2. a-2 b-1 c-4 d-5 e-3 f-6
3. a-2 b-1 c-3 d-4 e-5 f-6
4. a-4 b-5 c-3 d-2 e-1 f-6
5. a-5 b-4 c-2 d-1 e-3 f-6
6. a-1 b-5 c-3 d-2 e-4 f-6
7. a-3 b-2 c-1 d-4 e-5 f-6
8. a-1 b-3 c-2 d-4 e-5 f-6
9. a-4 b-5 c-1 d-4 e-3 f-6
10.a-5 b-2 c-1 d-3 e-4 f-6
NOW, find out which Movie Star you are:
(10 - 17 points)
You are MADONNA OR TYRONE POWER: You are wild and crazy and you know it.
You know how to have fun, but you may take it to extremes. You know what
you are doing though, and are much in control of your own life. People
don't always see things your way, but that doesn't mean that you
should do away with your beliefs. Try! y to remember that your wild
spirit
can lead to hurting yourself and others.
(18 - 26 points)
You are DORIS DAY OR ROBERT YOUNG: You are fun, friendly, and popular.
You are a real crowd pleaser. Have probably been out on the town your
share of times, yet you come home with the values that your mother
taught
you. Marriage and children are important to you, but only after you have
fun. Don't let the people you please influence you to stray.
(27 - 34 points)
You are DEBBIE REYNOLDS OR DONALD O'CONNER You are cute, and everyone
loves you. You are a best friend that no one takes the chance of losing.
You never hurt feelings and seldom have your own feelings hurt. Life is
a
breeze. You are witty, and calm most of the time. Just keep clear of
back stabbers, and you are worry-free.
(35 - 42 points)
You are GRACE KELLY OR CAESAR ROMERO You are ! a lover. Romance,
flowers,
and wine are all you need to enjoy yourself. You are serious about all
commitments. A family person. You call your Mom every Sunday, and never
forget a Birthday. Don't let your passion for romance get confused with
the real thing.
(43 - 50 points)
You are KATHERYN HEPBURN OR SPENCER TRACY You are smart, a real thinker.
Every situation is approached with a plan. You are very healthy in mind and body. You teach strong family values. Keep your feet planted in them, but don't overlook a bad situation when it does happen.
(51-60 points)
You are ELIZABETH TAYLOR or CLARK GABLE Everyone is in awe of you. You
know what you want and how to get it. You have more friends than you
know
what to do with. Your word is your bond. Everyone knows when you say
something, it is money in the bank. You attract the opposite sex.
Your intelligence ! overwelms most. Your memory is the next thing to
photographic. Everyone admires you because you are so considerate and
loveable. You know how to enjoy life and treat people right.
NOW, put your Movie Star in the subject line, then forward to your
friends.